leftovers

 
Subgenius Digest V2 #42
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Sat, 24 Nov 90 04:02:00 EST

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Subgenius Digest Sat, 24 Nov 90 Volume 2 : Issue 42


Today's Topics:
leftovers
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Date: Fri, 23 Nov 90 19:12:30
From: P350OJ01@vb.cc.cmu.edu
Subject: leftovers
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu

here are some tidbits from wwn (weekly world news) to add to your
merriment for these pagan holidays upon us :

sister and brother CLEONA and RAYMOND JOHNSON say they didn'y know they
were doing anything wrong when they started a family back in 1945.
but now their angry daughter LORENA FOLEY is suing them for giving
birth to her, saying she's been deprived of a normal life because of what
her parents did.
"just don't judge us too much," sai CLEONA, 62, who had three children
with her brother. "it's hard for me to explain things. i'm a shy person.
but the only thing that kept us together was love.
" we didn't tell the children. i don;t know why, we just didn't. and i
just thought we'd better go on with it for the kids' sake."
the incest couple, retired and living on social security in puyallup, wa,
are horrified to find themselves in the national spotlight after their
youngest daughter, 37, annunced her lawsuit.
mrs. FOLEY says her memory lapses, her stomach disorders, her speech
impediment, her crippling arthritis and other problems are the result of
inbreeding. she wants her parents to pay her damages.
"i wasn't ever expecting a lawsuit," RAYMOND JOHNSON, 72, said sadly. "it
doesn't feel very good. she wants money, as far as i know. i don't know
what the hell to say."
but LORENA FOLEY has plenty to say about her parents' bizzare relationship.
and she's been speaking for weeks now, appearing on TV and in newspapers
across the country.
"i just can't stand it anymore," the anguished woman sobbed during a TV
interview with tacoma station KIRO. " in my opinion they are getting away
with something that's not right. they say no harm done, but there is harm
done. this is a worse type of abuse than child abuse. because with child
abuse, you can get help and get over it. but this type of abuse is permanent
because it affects your health."
the mother of three says she found out about her parents' incest after an
uncle let something slip at a family funeral and she sent away for her mom
and dad's birth certificates. the discovery was devastating for her.
suspecting her health problems the result of incest, she consulted an
attorney. he filed a suit for her, claiming that bad genes caused her
everything from painful bunions, epileptic seizures and female problems
to learning disabilities, speech problems and difficulties coping.
"because of her problems she can't work, but her parents won't help her
with money," said the attorney, CARSON ELLER. "that's why she's suing. and
she feels she has a duty to her own children and the community to prevent this
from happening to other people.
shocked by a public airing of their private secret, the JOHNSONS have
announced their intention to keep ON living as MAN AND WIFE and have retreated
into silence. but their lawyer told the NEWS (wwn) he's seen no evidence
supporting mrs' FOLEY's claim that she has physically suffered from the
JOHNSONS' taboo love.
" we've seen absolutely nothing that shows she even HAS aillments," said
the attorney, CRAIG ADAMS. "we've requested medical files and doctors'
statements, but nothing has been given to us. we've seen no proof of
damages."

here's another story to go with your thanx-gIVing leftovers :

a cannibal who graded his victims for taste appeal says the flesh of other
savages is much better than that of outsiders - especially the germans,
russians and japanese.
TOH HOON, 53, revealed to dutch anthropologist JAN de GRAAF that the had the
opportunity to sample dozens of foreigners in his 40-year career in the
jungles of borneo and made mental notes about all of them.
dr. de GRAFF of amsterdam said the man's first choice for a meal of human
flesh was other cannibals and headhunters "because they have good, clean
tasting flesh with excellent texture."
the worst flesh the cannibal ever had was that of a japanese scientist,
who tasted like "raw fish sprinkled with sand," the expert said.
"i'm not at all surprised that he preferred his own kind because all
primitive people believe themselves superior to everyone else," dr. de
GRAFF added. " what does surprise me is that he rated the flesh of his
victims according to their nationality.
" he could actually taste the differences that were borne of their
widely different dietary backgrounds."
according to dr. de GRAFF, TOH said he hasn't had a meal of human flesh in
several years because old age now inhibits his hunting.
but he seemed to have a vivid recollection of several dozen humans he
ate in previous years and had this to say about his dinner guests :
ENGLISHMEN : " tough and stringy, but otherwise tasty."
GERMANS : " entirely too fat and greasy."
FRENCHMEN : " greasy, but very tender."
JAPANESE : " terrible, and only CHINESE are worse."
HISPANICS : " full of gristle, but great as a soup."
CANADIANS : " bland, almost watery, better with spices."
RUSSIANS : " bitter and foul-smelling."
ITALIANS : " spicy."
POLES : " too spicy."
IRISHMEN : " sickly sweet."
" the one AMERICAN TOH ate was rated high for taste, texture and appearance,"
said dr. de GRAFF.
" the meat wasn't quite as good as that of savages, but TOH said it was
definitely second best."

frater luXnoIr

 As I was traversing the internet on a random walk, I ran into this piece by frater luXNoir from the Church of the SubGenius. It was posted a while back....

feminine MISTAKE

Tue, 23 Aug 88 16:17:27

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this is from 'IN THESE TIMES'. it's a review of a recent book by DOKTOR toni grant, ' beING a WOman: fullfilling your feminity and finDING lOVE', by susan DOUGlas.
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THE FEMININE MISTAKE.
boy, have i been a dunce. i misguidedly thought that the reason i'd been out of sorts as a woman the past seven years was because things like the justice dept.'s assault on affirmative action, the increased feminization of poverty and the incessant attack on reproductive freedom to name just a few causes of female depression.
Yes, i'll admit it: i've been kinda moody since JAN.20, 1981, and i tended to blame my irratibility on others, particularly a few jowly, privileged, PINK-cheeked white men in WASHINGTON. I was even known to use the word PATRIARCHY now and then. but now that i've read the best selling 'beING WOman' by DOKTOR toni grant, a "pioneer in media psychology" who hosts a call-in show for the lovelorn, i realize just how misplaced my anger has been.
my analysis of the female condition under REAGANISM has been all wrong. i've been so busy looking at silly things like social structure and economic practices that i failed to identify the real enemy. toni grant, PH.D opened my eyes to the truth: the real reason i;ve been unhappy in the 80's is because i've been duped and lied to by FEMINISTS.
"in her incendiary new book", proclaimed a full-paged add in the new york times book review, "DOKTOR toni grant explodes the myth of 'liberation.'" the WOMEN's movement brought us nothing but misery and e women have only ourselves to blame. it is FEMINISM that is singlehandedly responsible for female "stress, anxiety, depression, compulsion, addiction and exhaustion." THE AMAZON BUNGLE: while women may have deluded themselves into thinking they cared about equal pay for equal worth, or incresed educational and occupational opportunities, DOKTOR toni grant knows better. actually, we don't give a hoot about these things; we desire only to be "taken, transported, ravished, swept away, carried over the threshold of love in the arms of a valiant hero." while reading this i felt the spark of recognition, for, secretly, this is how i REALLY feel whenever i see SYLVESTER STALONE, OLIVER NORTH or HUGH HEFNER. the problem for women today isn't that some men in power are TROGLODYTES, it's that women have become what DOKTOR toni call "AMAZONS". FEMINISM has turned us into overeducated, uptight, promiscuous, male-bashing shrews incapable and undeserving of love. the AMAZON travels in packs. whenever she encounters a man her tendency is to "draw her sword and go straight for the jugular and castrate wherever she senses WEAKNESS." such behaviour is generally unpopular, and it is grant's mission to help us get in touch with our softer nature and "embrace or lost feminity." for FEMINISM, argues DOKTOR toni, "cripples female power." REAL power comes from eyelash fluttering, tongue biting and toilet scrubbing.
quoting two knowledgeble AUTHORITIES on contemporary american women, carl JUNG and sigmund FREUD, grant notes that "women do not know themselves." but grant knows that, first and foremost, women are "passionately concerned about LOVE." a REAL woman is "psychologically pre-conscious" and operates in "a natural intuitive fashion, utilizing her feelings as opposed to her intellect. she doesn't think analytically or strategicaly about what she does at all. she just IS."
MAN-nifest DESTINY: in one of the many pathbreaking ideas in the book, grant puts forward the revolutionary new concept that "biology IS destiny." this means that ALL women are genetically programmed to be passive, submissive and deferential to men. the WOMEN's movement denied this IRREFUTABLE fact, and "the more extreme elements of the FEMINIST and SEXUAL revolutions" propagated what grant calls "the big LIES of liberation."
one such LIE maintained that "a woman's attractiveness to men would increase with her achievements." PREPOSTEROUS, exclaims grant. "the contemporary woman did not anticipate that being overeducated might hamper her ability to RELATE to men...research statistics that the higher a woman's education, the less apt she is to MARRY." this hit HOME. first, i realized that as an educator i was doing a cruel disservice to the women students i encouraged to attend graduate and professional shools.
SECONDLY, i knew DOKTOR toni was talking about my very own MARRIAGE and that i better share my concerns with my husBAND. "i'm so glad you brought this up," he exclaimed with relief. "you know, i just hate it when we sit around, have a few beers and talk about politics or the media or education. when we go back and forth about ideas, it's so, well...castrating. couldn't you take up needlpoint and talk about the thred, or just smile and listen and never say annything? our relationship would be so much better that way."
the other BIG LIES of libaration, such as the myth that men and women are fundamentally the same, the myth of one's unrealized potential and the myth that "DOING is better than BEING", have made today's woman "and imitation man at WAR with actual men." these AMAZONS "deserted their men and their children or rejected the entire notion of MARRIAGE and FAMILY; they "went to ORGIES" and "participated in ODD sexual arrangements" (a stage of the WOMEN's movement that i, unfortunately, missed out on). today's WOMEN "fix their own cars and leaky faucets, travel ALONE, pay their OWN bills and wield their OWN credit cards." that's me, all right. just YESTERDAY i rebuilt the ENGINE BLOCK.
men hate these independent, self-suficient types. in another pathbreaking passage, DOKTOR grant astutely observes that "boys will be boys; there is no getting away from it." just as all WOMEN are alike, so are all men. what guides men, in everything they do, is CASTRATION anxiety. because of this "men need to be right, and smart women know this and let them." men "do resist domesticity; they are hunters by nature and their natural instinst is to run free.' in another shimmering analogy, grant reminds us that "a fish, like a man, wants to swim free. he has a natural attraction to the bait but an aversion to the hook."
SWEET SURRENDER: all this is, of course, "rooted in gender biology: men physically go 'downward'; that is, they penetrate women. moreover, it has to do with man's biological NEED for dominance and CONTROL." women have to surrender to male willfulness and, sometimes, this is a tad fustrating. DOKTOR grant recommends DEEP BREATHING as "enormously helpful in the SURRENDER process." those women resistant to this SURRENder process are explicitly to "respiratory illness (blocking of the BREATHING passeges)." and for years i thought i had hay FEVER! now, by just saying "YES MASTER, whatever YOU say," several times a day, i can throw out those decongestants forever.
grant cites THE TAMING OF THE SHREW as a primer for how women SHOULD be trained and SUBDUED. if a man points to the sun and insists it is the moon, the smart WOMAN, the WOMAN with REAL power, smiles and agrees.
this book saved my marriage and CHANGED my life. i now realize that the WOMAN "makes of breaks the harmony of a home," that the WOMAN is "the glue of an enduring relationship." successful relationships between sexes are ENTIRELY the WOMAN's resposability - men are too TIRED and overWORKED to have to do this sort of THING. i have come to see that i "take a SECRET PLESURE in dominance by men" for i have learned "what every sadomasochistic aficionado will know: SUBMISSION can be downright RELAXING." so i'm going to stop bitching. no more yelling at images of ED MEESE or ORIN HATCH on tv. there's no SEXISM out these; just HUFFY, deluded, unFEMININE women who don't know how to keep their lips zipped. my needlepoint is on the way, and tonight i'm going to wash my hasBAND's feet with my hair. then i'll start on those BREATHING exercises.
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it also says at the end of the article that SUSAN is selling her HUGE
collection of CRAFTSMAN power tools cheep.
frater luXNoir